The story of Heather's grieving partner: Who is and who isn't considered a victim of crime? 

Scarcely able to breathe I rang the police because I heard a woman fitting Heather's description had been murdered at Medowie. At first they didn't want to tell me anything. Then they asked me to make a statement. After that they asked me to identify her body at the morgue. 

I'd never done that before, it seemed the least thing I could do for her - she was there at the morgue, all alone..... It never crossed my mind that her post mortem exam had not been done so she was all bloodied and her fear showed. She had been stabbed to death. Twenty-two times they said.

I may never forget that sight of this glorious, feisty, warm and loving woman. It was not like you see on TV. There was no one to warn me, to 'counsel' me - before or after. I lived for the next eighteen months in fear and locked into the horror of her death and the idea of giving evidence. I had a mental breakdown. At least he pleaded guilty, eventually.

I'm not classed as a victim of crime - we'd only been in a relationship for two months - just fallen in love - so I can't qualify for counselling under the NSW Government Approved Counselling Scheme. I could get counselling if I could pay, or by waiting until a Health Department counsellor was available. I found not all professionals understand and counselling isn't really the answer but it can help.

I came to VOCAL; they knew Heather because they cared for her for over two years as a Domestic Violence victim who was in fear of being murdered - through many challenges. She had told me they gave her the courage to live her best life, every day, instead of living like a victim, waiting to die.

I'm trying to get on with my life and I keep coming back to VOCAL. My new lady is welcome at VOCAL as she copes with me. VOCAL understand just how many people are affected, for how long and how it forces changes in everything - every aspect of life you once took for granted. 

It's hard to comprehend I'm not even 'a victim of crime'. I certainly feel like one.

John 2004